Seems kinda strange looking back on it now, almost surreal. It wasn't a time in my life I was particularly  proud of. I was working as a Dwarf Recovery Assistant at a carney sideshow. I pcked up the dazed dwarfs after they had been unceremoniously 'tossed' from the stage to the great delight of the raucous, uncouth mob who paid to watch.Things were slow, real slow. Same crap day in day out. When one day the head tosser disappeared. There were a lot of rumours, none proven. A new tosser was appointed, and that's when I met her. Introduced as Bambii Fawn, this vision looked like she wouldn't harm a fly. She became a show stopper, people from miles around flocked to watch her toss a dwarf at the drop of a hat. Nobody did it better !!

trask

From: Reenie

Subj: How I Met Bambii

 

 

During times of yore, when the days were always filled with an adventurous wild blue cloudless sky and and the dark night's black shadow was endlessly and playfully illuminated with tiny dots of sparkling diamonds under a bright silvery moon, I passed the time and filled my purse employed as an independent AirMail pilot contractor.  

 

One particularly memorable sunny afternoon, I had occasion to fly some deliveries to a small New Mexico town called Rio Rancho, and

although I had never had the pleasure of visiting that cozy hideaway in the American southwest before, it was very easy to spot from the sky, as the U.S. Postal Service branch was located right next to the airport, and the donkeys in the post office parking lot were its signature mode of delivery and quite hard not to miss.  I had heard this tale about Rio Rancho Airport before, but I didn't quite believe it was true until I spotted them with my very eyes.

 

After tying down my craft, I headed over to the service entrance which was accessed through the rear parking lot.  With thoughts of my next possible adventure beginning to swirl through my head, I was momentarily distracted by a commotion at the far end of the lot. 

 

I trotted over to see what the matter was about and overheard a somewhat exasperated voice mounted atop a donkey attempting to move it.  "%^#$%&$#%*^&%, you damn donkey, GET  MOVING!!"  I had to do a double take as the voice seemed to be coming from the loveliest sweet little deer I had ever had the pleasure to see.  Yep, it sure was booming out of her, so I made my way over to see what all the ruckus was about.

 

"What's this" I questioned the young forest critter.  "What has put you in such a mood?"  "I am going to the North Pole to join the Reindeer Squad," she answered quite defiantly,  "and this stubborn donkey won't budge!!"  I silently chuckled at her innocently determined attempt at getting the donkey to do as she demanded, and said quite gently, "But my dear deer, you are not a reindeer;  what makes you think you will qualify for the team?'   Her doe eyes widened in disbelief while her mouth began to pucker in anger.  As one eye started to squint and the eyebrow above the opened eye began to raise, she slowly began to utter, patiently pronouncing each word with obviously painful restraint,  "I am SO a reindeer and have the BELLS to PROVE IT!".   With that she lifted her hooves up and fiercely shook them with a look on her face that could only convey what sort of idiot she figured me to be.  Clasp around each one, sure enough, was a string of bells that rang quite nicely and loudly if I do say so myself.

 

"Well forgive my ignorance, " I said to her, "Why yes, yes indeed, I do believe you qualify!  But, I see you are having some trouble instigating your donkey to share your wishes."  She had to sadly agree with this and then a bright thought came into her head.  "Hey!  Maybe you can help me with your airplane!  We could actually get there much faster that way anyway," she said hopefully.   And I agreed, since I was in the mood for a new adventure.  With my packages safely delivered inside, I called out, "Come on what are you waiting for, hurry up and lets go!"  And faster than a speeding bullet nearly knocking me down getting through the gate she raced towards my airplane.  As we buckled in and prepared to depart, I asked her, "And what might your name be young one?"  And she cheerily piped up, "Bambii, and quickly added,  "with two i's mind you!"   "Well bambii with two i's, its nice to meet you, I'm reenie with 3 e's and I will be your pilot today!"  "Ditto and I will be your passenger," she said.

 

During the ride we chatted about everything under the sun and moon and found out we had much in common, including a strange fascination of trivial and useless facts along with an unexplainable distaste for olde jobs.   By the time we arrived at the North Pole, we had become close buddies, and a lifelong friendship was sealed.  Oh, and of course she made the Squad!  She can accomplish anything she puts her mind to!

reenie