Misschiff

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a beautiful princess was born. The king and queen were so delighted with the little piece of perfection before them <mg> they decided to have the finest christening the kingdom had ever seen.  The princess had for her godmothers all the fairies they could find in the whole kingdom (they found seven), that every one of them might give her a gift, as was the custom of fairies in those days. By this means the princess would have all the perfections imaginable. Sadly the king and queen had, however, forgotten to invite a very old fairy who had been banished many years before because of her predilection for purple fishnets <mg>. The embittered hag hid behind some curtains and watched and waited for an opportunity to reek revenge for the humiliation suffered.

 At the christening, all the fairies began to give their gifts to the princess.

 The youngest gave the gift of la femme sans frontières - that she should travel to many lands, far and wide. The next fairy, that she should have the wit of an angel <mg>. The third, that she should finish her Bachelor of Arts in Linguistics, majoring in Mandarin and Italian. The fourth, that she should also acquire her University of Cambridge Teaching Qualification – thus opening up the world of moulding the minds (I said minds not bodies <mg>) of buff, young Swiss and Brazilian men, who shall gaze upon her with the adoration she deserves. <mg> The fifth, that she should experience life and work in exotic lands such as Thailand at both ends of the spectrum(ahem… life-building stuff every true princess needs <s>): the first year in an obscenely wealthy school and then the second in a refugee camp. And the sixth fairy, that she should obtain her MA in Political Science, with an egalitarian romantic anti-hero dedicated to the improvement of budding minds for a supervisor.

 Just as the last fairy was about to step forward and bestow her gift, Daffy, as the wicked old shrew was sometimes known, jumped out from behind the curtains, cackling, “She shall never finish her MA!  She shall have a lecturer in tight leather pants, whose main concern will not the betterment of his students' minds - but the best of the view of his yellow-leathered butt and that every student should read and quote his sole published paper. Mwahahahahaha!”

 The seventh and youngest fairy, who had been about to wish that the princess should be an accomplished Trivial Pursuit player, feared by all, came forth and said, “Your kind majesties, do not worry, your sweet princess shall finish her masters, but she first will have to play MP until it becomes an addiction. By which time a Canadian Mountie boy shall come riding his trusty steed, well, flying his shiny helicopter through a stormy night to save her...

 PS: Among her myriad talents, MissChiff counts exaggeration of her talents, virtues and beauty as her most used and useful. <vmg>

 PPS: MissChiff believes she could never smile evilly and her grins are rarely wicked…and thus is graciously, with sweetest condescension making her contribution to MP <mg>  = mischievous grin.

 PPS: MissChiff concedes that the information used and the opinions expressed here may have very little foundation in truth <mg>